Day 61

I begin to believe that it is my own tremulous optimism that is the catalyst of the ill luck that plagues our settlement. Last night, listening to the settlement sleep, I felt hopeful and thought that perhaps a new month meant a new opportunity for our fortunes to turn.

My partner, still tired from his battle with the plague and doubly so after his return to the hunt yesterday, went down the hill to our hut shortly after the evening feast. I remained in the gathering hall and put the elder barbarians to bed in their huts. Afterward, I basked in the sounds of our settlement asleep and allowed myself to entertain optimism about our immediate future here in the settlement.

I remained awake perhaps later than I should have, but not unduly so. As soon as I rose to walk down the hill to bed, the littlest barbarian awakened. She was not feverish, nor prone to coughing. There was no obvious reason for her wakefulness. She remained restless, wakeful, and loud for the remainder of the night only giving in to sleep as dawn approached.

What little sleep I got this morning was interrupted by an early rising eldest barbarian followed closely by the littlest barbarian's cheerful awakening, as though she had not kept me awake all night. I am groggy, tried and irritable. Not the first day back I had hoped for for the little barbarians.

Only last night, I was thinking about how nice it was to have the settlement sleeping around me and how the new month and the coming of spring would mean a change in our fortunes. It only means a new day and new challenges.

Life is challenges, I suppose. We thrive despite them and I will overcome this day's challenges.

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